Communication Skills 101

Communication is the key to, well, everything. We use it to ask parents for money, to order fries at the drive through, to apply to colleges, to shine in a job application, and to work with our colleagues. My parents have a unique way of communicating since my dad is very hard of hearing, but they make it work. The bottom line, though, is that we all know how to communicate.

But how well? Good communication is very different from communication. Take for example, again, my parents. My mom asked my dad today whether or not he would ever like a Kindle. He looked at her and asked her what she thought was simple. Technically, they communicated, but clearly they didn’t communicate  well.

In business, good communication skills are vital to meeting objectives. Unfortunately, though, too often, we focus on what we want to say instead of being aware of what the recipient needs to receive or what we need them to understand.

Recently, I applied for a job. My procedure is to copy the job announcement and to put it in a spreadsheet. I then isolate each required or desired skill or experience and the line descriptions of the daily responsibilities. Then, I measure my experience or education with those. If I am at least an 85% match, I will apply.

I found a job, and my match rate was around 95%, so I applied. The next week, I got an email thanking me for my application but indicating that they were pursuing candidates whose skills more closely matched the job.

Now, for the sake of argument, we might say that they had several good candidates whose skills were a 96% or better match. But that’s probably unlikely (not to mention risky HR decision-making).

We can suggest that my resume didn’t include the right keywords for the automated readers, although I generally use the language in the job announcements to complete the resumes just for this reason.

More likely, I suspect, is that what they wrote in the announcement didn’t actually reflect what they wanted in a candidate. While I was very qualified for the job they announced, I probably was not qualified for the position they wanted to fill.

They probably knew what they wanted, and they thought that they explained it, but they fell short. They've shifted responsibility for good communication from them to the recipient, and that is simply not smart. I’ve heard it over and over again from students whose papers received low grades. When I explain that the work didn’t reflect what they really were trying to communicate, they reply, “but you know what I meant.”

Well, no. No, I didn’t.

As a writer, it is your responsibility to write with me in mind. Literally. If you want to convince me to vote for your candidate, you need to envision me as a voter sitting with you and resisting your argument. You’ll write for me that way.

If you are an employer seeking to fill a position, you need to imagine me sitting next to you, completely unfamiliar with you, your company or the position, while you explain to me carefully what you need to see in me to make a match.

And, if you are a job seeker, you will complete the cover letter and resume with the employer in mind. Think about what he or she needs to see, hear, and understand. Write with a person other than yourself in mind.

Good communication requires remembering this very important fact: it’s not about YOU.  Seriously. You can communicate all you want and as well as you want, but if you don’t reach ME, the recipient, you might as well have skipped the effort completely.

Good communication requires two parties: the sender and the receiver. (I know if you are a communications academic, you will argue that there are more parts, which is true, but we'll touch on those things later. Here, I'm simply reducing to essentials.) As the sender, your message can only be successful if it resonates with the receiver. If it is clear and understood by the receiver. If it speaks to the receiver.

If you want your receiver to buy a Kindle, you've got to understand his needs, his level of understanding about Kindles and what you need to do to ensure that he receives that message accurately. It's your job to deliver the clearest message you can if you want to have meaningful communication. It really is that simple.