Unemployment is difficult, at best. There's the stress about money, the trauma of change, the chance for depression to slip in if one is not careful. It's just not a good time.
But during the past four months, I've also discovered a lot of positive things as a result of this extended time off, and I am starting to think of this as a very needed course correction.
First, there has to be a balance between work and life. For me, that's always been a tough thing. I find that my identify and feelings of self-worth are intricately tied to my work, which is not necessarily a bad thing UNLESS work becomes the predominant influence of those things. I am an 'all-in" kind of person, so, to be honest, I've not always managed the work-life balance as well as necessary because work became life.
Being away from that has helped me to understand that unemployment provides a forced break in the cycle. A chance for a new start. With the next job, I now have the benefit of hindsight and introspection, and I think I will give my all to my job, but I will give the same to my family but both in their own time.
Second, human interaction cannot be overrated. As anyone who has searched for jobs in the past decade knows, job hunting has become completely automated. Human beings are no longer a big factor. We fill out applications online. We get an automated receipt email. A few weeks later, we get an automated rejection email. Or if we do get past the initial electronic gatekeepers, we are offered a short phone interview with very canned questions (they really ask the same ones over and over). Or we receive absolutely nothing at all.
So on those very rare occasions when we can genuinely communicate with a person who uses our names or asks how we are, even if it is via email or phone, we are strikingly reminded of the value and importance of human interaction. I've sent several follow up emails to thank interviewers for their time, and often that has been the end of our communication. Today, I received three responses to my follow-ups from managers at one firm I interviewed with, and I was surprised at how good that made me feel. It's not about the job prospect. It's not about reading into the communication and trying to figure out what it all means. It's about decency, kindness, manners and human interaction. Unemployment is tough, but one short email simply says to the recipient that they were noticed and worthy of a response. And for job seekers, that means a lot.
Third, work expands to fit the time allotted. Once I got over the initial shock of being unemployed, I figured that I would use the time in between job searching to tackle projects I never had time to address while I was working. Go ahead. Fellow unemployed can laugh with me or at me. I find that I am as busy now as I was when I was working. The job search takes up an enormous amount of time. Additionally, I find myself playing with the pups, and running errands, and doing basic cleaning. In essence, I am doing all the things that I did while I was working, but it is just taking a lot longer to complete and I'm not even doing those things extra well. As for all those projects I wanted to tackle? Not a closet has been organized. Not a carpet has been cleaned. And my car has not been washed even once. There simply has been no time.
Finally, staying productive helps with staying positive. This one is intricately linked the the third point. There's a difference between staying busy (errands, housework, etc) and being productive (completing projects from start to finish). I did make a quilt and pillow shams for my bed, and I realized how good that made me feel AND how much that success fed my energy for doing other projects. So, I finally resorted to opening my planning journal last week, the same one I used to plan my time when I was working. It's been sitting on my desk for months, but I didn't see any real reason to use it. Until now. I start the week by making a "to do" list, including jobs to pursue, projects I want to tackle and cleaning/organizing chores that need to be done. I also use the time to plan for the future--wishes, hopes, long shot dreams. And I've found that it works. The daily chores get done and provide immediate gratification. The projects take time and energy but make me feel like I am accomplishing something. And the future items? Well they provide the reason for doing everything else. They are reminders that the steps I take today will lead me into tomorrow and beyond.
Being unemployed stinks, for sure. But since I have to live this experience for right now, I might as well try to find something positive in it.
Now I can check "write blog post" off my list, and I already feel the surge of energy from accomplishing something today. It's a win!
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